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By Doron Gil, Ph.D.
Expert Author Doron Gil, Ph.D.
Researchers from Stanford University in California and the University of Cambridge analyzed 86,000 Facebook volunteers regarding their Facebook activities. They gathered data from over 100 Facebook “likes” for a person, and used algorithms to determine a person’s personality. Their findings indicated that the computer analysis could more accurately determine a person’s personality than their friends and family, as well as their partner (!) could .
The researchers concluded that in the future, computers will be able to infer psychological traits better than humans. This might mean that such data analysis can assist people in making daily decisions about issues such as whom to trust, marry, as well as whom to hire and promote .
Computer experts now believe that determining a person’s personality can be done not only on the basis of Facebook “Likes”, but also gathered from whatever data is left behind on the websites you visit, the purchases you make via the internet, and the like .
Taking into consideration that these days we all use the internet to a greater and greater extent, the question you face is: when it comes to choosing a partner, would such data analysis be beneficial for you? Would it soon be easier for you – via your computer – to “trace” personality traits of potential partners in order to decide which ones are suitable for you? Would it shorten the time for you to find your soul-mate? And would it enable you to select a partner with whom you will be more likely to build a long-lasting intimate relationship ?
Experts answer these questions negatively. This research and analysis quoted above, they say, is based on just five major personality traits, and this is insufficient in order to build an accurate picture of you or your potential partner’s behavior .
As much as you might have wanted this to be the case – who, after all, wouldn’t want to have a “magic stick” which will enable you to more accurately and speedily find a partner? – there could have been many disadvantages to you letting computer-analysis-data determine your partner .
Meeting someone and getting to know this person should, after all, be a joyous part of your existence and you wouldn’t want to miss such a joy. Slowly getting to know another person, to feel attracted to him/her, to warming up towards this person and to using your intuition as to whether he/she is a suitable partner for you – these are all part of the process of getting to know someone, of the journey towards togetherness. Leaving such an important part in the hands of a computer will deprive you of some of the most beautiful aspects of your life which need to be cherished !
Indeed, you may say to yourself: well, but I have failed time and again; and time is running out; and I can’t trust my intuition; and so on and so forth…
However, you do have a choice. As long as such computer-data-analysis is not possible, you must use your intuition; must use your own judgment; must trust yourself to be able to find an appropriate partner .
It might not be easy; you might have failed in the past. However, as long as there is no such computer program which can help you, and as long as you don’t want to miss the true joy of finding a partner who suits you, what you can do – and even deserve it to yourself – is develop your Self-Awareness: coming to understand what made you fail until now, what you need to do in order to change; what would it take for you to get closer to yourself and trust your intuition and judgment .
So rather than waiting for such computer programs to be available “in the free market”, why not take your time to develop awareness? Developing Self-Awareness will not only enable you to find an appropriate partner, but to also understand how to cultivate a healthy and successful intimate relationship .
Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. In his book: “The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship Dr. Gil shows the importance of self-awareness to building a successful intimacy: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Awareness-Guide-Successful-Intimate-Relationship/dp/143925141X/